This week has been tough. There is no substitute for doing the inner work. It just has to be done. I have been helped a lot by friends who have listened and allowed me to be messy but always reminding me that I have some spiritual ' washing-up' to do. Sometimes I just didn't feel like doing it and I was prepared to sit in my mess as it was something I was familiar with.
Innerstanding others who are in their mess was a comfort but did not stay as that long enough to get comfortable. Onwards I have marched like a walking process. I have noticed that although I can come across as hard, I am not. I am not a marine I am a woman and I make foolish mistakes relating to where I put my energy and who I allow over my boundaries or, in fact, where there are none. My intentions are always good although sometimes masked by pain or reactions. I feel that it's the same for most people. The worst experience this month has been to once again feel belittled by others and as a result, climbing out of the boxes they and I have put me in which were too small and extremely restrictive. The struggle with the little self, throwing all toys out has been a journey and yet, along the way, I have met others on the same path who, from their side of the room, have laughed and cried along with me as we have spent an hour singing away the pain of the old and arising into the new paradigm where all this outplaying of endless patterns has stopped. Yesterday I had a beautiful student who sang in her spiritual language and uplifted both of us with her sounds. A reminder that I am a musician and singer and can change the world with a song. Today, I am singing a new song into existence. A new life.